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Palm readings: unique off-campus experience

By Katie McEvoy
On February 21, 2012

  • Ms. Rose offers guidance to University students who visit her parlor.

 

Few things in life are quite as bizarre as meeting with a palm reader.

Shove open the heavy green door of Ms. Rose's Life Coaching Parlor in Bryn Mawr, and you might encounter a case of the spins. Where are the Persian rugs and walls filled with leather bound books on mysticism and wooden buckets filled with a collection of fancy scarves stolen from Steven Tyler's wardrobe? 

All those Disney movies must be misleading, because inside this easily-missed storefront lies a room where everything is cream. 

The sofa, the rugs, the walls, even the tiny television that streams reruns of Family Feud, all the color of cream. 

The chair you sit in will be so flawlessly cream that you wonder if anyone has ever sat there before.

 You're not sure if that smell is cigarettes, incense or something else. 

Are your nerves making you woozy or is it something emanating from that collection of precious stones—the only knick-knacks in the entire room? 

If you find yourself sitting in a parlor, waiting for a palm reading or psychic service, think of these tips for success.

Ready yourself to feel like a total weirdo. 

Between the time when you walk into the parlor, sit down to wait and finally meet with the palm reader, you will think about walking out no less than 17 times. 

Sure, you've waited a thousand other times for other things, but never before have you felt that the off-white walls of a lounge will cave in on you. You sit there, anxious that Hunter S. Thompson and his attorney will burst through the walls and a "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"inspired scene will transpire.

But don't psych yourself out. 

Feeling uncomfortable is to be expected. 

Even before you get there, ease your nerves pre-visit by walking in instead of making an appointment. Avoid getting jumpy on the drive down Lancaster Ave. 

Ignore the confusion that seems to harness you as soon as you twist the doorknob and enter the parlor. 

Once you arrive, don't think too hard about the odd woman in the linen leopard print pants who greets you. 

If you think you have the perfect balance of cynical believer, then you do. 

Walk in, commit your $10 and let the creepy sensations be what they are. What's that line about buying tickets and taking rides? Know exactly what your two wishes will be.

The reader will ask for these before she even asks you what your name is. 

These should not be the wishes you pull out of thin air when 11:11 rolls around (everyone knows you still make your wishes at 11:11). 

Allegedly, these two wishes have the potential to come true based on some rules provided by your palm reader. It's worth giving them a little thought, and I bet Mom and Dad would love it if you wished some of your debt from college loans away.

Don't panic.

The first five things your fortune teller says will send you across the room doing back flips, thinking—in caps lock—something along the lines of "Jesus, Mary and Jay Wright, how did she know?" 

Keep in mind, these few things are about the present and recent past. Try to focus on the energy between you—if you think your body is being battered with radiation, or this is what you always imagined it would feel like, then you're probably doing it right. Make eye contact. Keep your head on straight.

Be extremely attentive. 

The next part gets even better: your future predictions. Answer her questions honestly, concentrate equally on the content of your reading and the energy between you. 

Pay attention to the good and bad things she has to say. Of course, exercise your inner Jon Stewart and feel free to be cynical of the results. 

But remember these details—maybe the initial reading really will impact your future one of these days. Future predictions vary the most from person to person. 

Bring a friend. 

Don't doubt it—you are going to gush over the ridiculousness of the reading as soon as you cross the threshold and exit the shop. 

Although your friend likely will not be able to sit next to you while you get the reading, as it disrupts the energy between you and the palm reader, comparing your experience to your friend's is incredible, especially if your readings indicate the effect of your friend's presence in your life—for example, siblings, roommates and romantic relationships. 

A friend can also help bring you down from the stratosphere of disbelief and remind you of what is worth believing and what is not. 

But if it all seems like crap to you, perhaps you can cut your losses and laugh it off together. Seniors, preferably at Kelly's.


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